According to Shakespeare, “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” Well, in Judaism, I would substitute the word greatness for kvetching.
I don’t think it is an overstep to suggest that many Jews learn how to kvetch straight out of the womb. In fact, it might even be imprinted in our DNA, absorbed by the wide range of kvetching that inevitably takes place both by mother and partner during one’s nine-month incubation.
Nevertheless, what to many is a negative trait is, to others (a.k.a. me), a great asset. How so? Well, look at any of Larry David, Fran Lebowitz, or Sebastian Maniscalco (Italians are essentially Jews with dairy-proof stomachs) and you have your answer. These three are shining examples of what can happen when you turn kvetching into a career.
I was previously asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. My response, for years, varied—an actress, a singer, the editor-in-chief of Vogue. No one ever told me that I could monetize kvetch to pay rent. No one ever explained that kvetching is not just a science, baked into my bones, but also an art form that can be explored orally and through prose.
How is it that at 28 years old, I am only now coming to the realization that this god-given gift could have been channeled into a profession? They force us to learn trigonometry and the periodic table, for what? These subjects were only valuable as a source of years’ worth of kvetching content. They tell us to go to College, choose a major, and pursue a degree in the name of a career. They never promote the possibility that this inherent talent—heck, my birthright, if you will—is a lucrative enterprise.
If I were smart, I would have turned on “paid-only” for this post and put my money where my mouth is. Alas. Someday.
Kvetch ya later.
To the funniest and wittiest woman I know - 👏👏👏💗💗💗